Why do we park on driveways but drive on parkways?

Posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2012 at 4:31 pm by Diamond Jim

These are just some of life's odd, strange, interesting, and/or irritating observations I on which I have spent considerable thought and have been compelled to list:

Cocktail napkins provided with any meal, especially an expensive meal.
Silverware placed directly on a table.
People walking toward you who attempt to pass you on their left.
Toilet paper installed so that it comes off to the back and down.
Loud talking on cell phones.
Babies being given silverware to bang on the table, or bread to distribute in a 5' diameter of their chair.
Piercing lisps.
Tattoos (especially those over 20 years).
Butt-crack exposure on men and women.
Crusted hooves (feet) in sandals.
People who use the restroom and fail to wash their hands.
People who shop brands and/or price only.
Young men who hold their penis while talking.
Women with nails so long that they cannot possible perform basic sanitary functions.
Men with sleeveless shirts with over sized arm holes.
Adult women who wear cap sleeves.
Obese women and girls who continue to think they can dress out of the juniors dept.
Obese women who wear "clam-digger" pants.
Men who think that the unkempt, dirty-looking facial hair look is becoming.
Women who think that the unkempt, dirty-looking facial hair look is becoming.
Water faucets with hot and cold water reversed.
Repairmen who install the hot water faucet replacement parts on the right faucet, or cold water faucet replacement parts on the left faucet.
The person who leaves one of those two retail entry doors locked... without posting a sign saying, "Use Other Door".
Serving lemon in water without asking.
Refilling ANY drink without asking.
The reasons for tattoos... and body piercings... and the conversation that preceded getting each one.
Wearing hats in restaurants.
Wearing thongs in restaurants (either kind, I've seen BOTH).
Feet in chairs.
Eating over one arm on the table.
Men's urinals installed 6" off the floor to accommodate children, instead of installing a second urinal to accommodate the shorties.
Auto flush toilets with toilet seat covers.
Hosts and hostesses who cannot speak English in U.S. restaurants.
Loud music in restaurants.
Wearing coats with shorts.